The way you see yourself makes a considerable difference when it comes to overcoming obstacles or getting what you want. You can feel motivated and interested, encouraged by the quality and effort required to face a challenge, or scared, weak and very, very small compared to the size of the test. But it does not apply only to determining issues or the great decisions of life; the insecurity is in everything, especially in the small things and of daily character as they are to speak in front of strangers, or to appear to an interview, or to invite

someone out, or when you have to controvert  with a person of authority, or when you have to make a claim, or when you have to sell a product, or offer yourself as a volunteer, or as a professional, or if you are in an entrepreneurial project, and so on. Insecurity traces you a wrong path, it overprotects you, restricts you, limits you, avoids problems it deems unnecessary, keeps you always comfortable and warm in that area where you are always: same friends, same places, same jobs; and if everything goes well, in its order, it will fulfill its duty; you will always be the same, there will be no growth, you will not lead any cause, you will not generate changes or influences, you will simply take what you can from life and you will not give much in return or as payment. You will waste your talent, possibly out of focus and perhaps even the progress of a whole generation. Being a “nobody” is not only what you are, but it is also what we will be because the movement is cut off, the momentum is stopped, and that is a very important and valuable thing always in life. 

Being insecure is not the same as being undecided, because being undecided is not knowing what you want. Being insecure is knowing what you want but feeling unable to achieve it.

However, the disability, which has to do with the lack of skills, can be eliminated as long as you obtain the necessary skills or competencies, and when that happens, and now you are a diligent and apt person, you will find out that still, you feel uncertainty, shy and afraid of undertaking things. And the fear will stop you then and you will prefer better to continue with your normal life and to discard thus, for a couple of years more, any idea of ​​change.

… But if you already have the skills, if you have just left the academy or the college, if you already obtained the knowledge, if you already saved the necessary money, if you already have a general plan, why are you still insecure?

The answer is self-confidence. You have no confidence in yourself, you let it go, it’s gone, or maybe you are burdened with the experience of failure. People whose last experience consider it a failure tend to think that their future experience will also be a failure, and that causes deep mistrust. Or maybe you feel that way because it has created a whole environment of insecurity and you have a lot of people who try to discourage you, not with bad intentions of course, but seek to “protect you”, and then their advice or negative comments produce that feeling again: Will it be that I’m doing the right thing? Could it be that I am capable? you will ask yourself. 

I wanted to take you to a tacit conclusion. I hope I have achieved it.

Self-confidence is a matter of perspective. Why do you feel that way? because you see yourself that way. You are focusing primarily on the bad things, you see your shortcomings but not your qualities, you see your problems and limitations, and weaknesses, but not a single triumph, not a single talent, you see your failures but not your victories. You are always listening to the wrong voices, you are having incorrect conversations with yourself, you are negatively evaluating your own experiences and distrusting your knowledge. You are thinking badly and talking bad about yourself, as you would not with any other person (and that is what is deteriorating you) because surely you would be incapable of thinking this bad of someone you know and love, and you would not dare to speak badly about him or her, or generate rumors, and I’m sure you would not be so severe at the time of judging that person, you would forgive his shortcomings consequently, you would support him and encourage him whatever the circumstances.

That is part of the philosophy of love. Should not you apply the same standard on yourself?

Happily, self-confidence is something that can be reconstructed.

A radical change of focus, that is what has to be done. Everyone has flaws, problems, and failures. We also have talents, and abilities, and triumphs, it is up to us to focus on either of them. Change the perspective, superimpose the good on the bad. This only change is already a virtue in itself. Plus point.

Recognize your potential over all things. Super important. You may be where you are as a result of your weaknesses and failures, but that has already happened, you have to learn to forgive yourself and learn to love the formation and teaching after each fall. But failure is not the only thing that exists in your life, there has to be a victory, at least one, and I want you to take it in your hands and raise it up now as if it were a banner. On that stone! you will build a castle.

You must also create a step-by-step routine. You have to study and prepare to add new knowledge. Because you cannot grow until you expand the level of knowledge and you can not specify any kind of change initiative without establishing strong routines that constitute new habits. Build your own image and likeness, choose to be better, choose to believe in yourself as nobody else and as never before. I promise that this transformation will not make you wait for results; There will be someone who will notice that change. There are always people watching, people need and want to have leaders, who would not want to be like you? Do you think you have nothing to teach? You are persisting in error. You have it all. Trust in it.

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References:

5 Great Steps to Building Self-Confidence

MindTools